Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
