you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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