I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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