Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
