just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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