my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
