Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
