I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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