And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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