my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
