I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
