After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
