Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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