stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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