I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
