3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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