1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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