apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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