When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
