you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
