Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it because I queefed?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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