You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
