I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
