For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
