GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
