My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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