i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
