he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
