why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Randomize
