Duck Duck Cougar?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
