Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
