Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
