lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
