I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
