You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
