new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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