perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize