C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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