U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize