Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found puke in my bra..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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