I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Found the puke drawer
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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