I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
