their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
People in love make me want to vomit
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize