if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
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