you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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