it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No subtext here. People are naked.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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