names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Green mimosas i think yes
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
