well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
