Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize