Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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