We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize