so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
