So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nicole vs. Life
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
