I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
