1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
