I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
