This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
BRING THE BAGELS
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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