it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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