I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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