would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
