i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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