Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
